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For Christmas, please? Anyone!? From the Karnival Assassin and Karnival Renegade playing cards decks.

... can any of you guess? It's not a perfect rendition, but it's awfully close with the hair, v-line, build, and camera angle...


(via sozo)

Click to Embiggen:

Get your mind out of the gutter, readers! We may never say goodbye to running across three and a-half inches, but at least we can cross one of them off the list!

The Sony Corporation has announced that after nearly 30 years of producing the 3.5" hard disk, or floppy disk (which ever you want to call it), they will cease production of low-storage capacity device effective the beginning of next year. 
We're moving into the digital age here, pumpkins. Out with the old and in with the (sort of) new!
Who remembers purchasing Windows '97? I remember opening that box and pulling out a handful of disks that were labled "Windows '97 : Disk 1 of 7,371". 

Yeah... that sucked.

And what's next readers? Because, reality is... an entire operating system could fit on a flash drive and still have room for more. And a bag of skittles. 

Give it a minute before you stop the video. You'll be amazed!

Or, as I used to say as kid, a Hopter-Copter.

This video was allegedly shot with the shutter speed synchronized to the helicopter’s blade speed. That's a pretty fast shutter speed, I would think. But then again, I know nothing about cameras. But Jenn does! And that's why it's her job to explain this:

.
BETTY WHITE. SNL. MAY 8TH. FINALLY.

For every gay man that misses this episode, a small child will be run over by a laundry truck (but live).

Thanks!

Your dirty snatch at SwishEmbassy ran across this hottie here, and then spent twenty personal minutes in the bathroom with a bottle of St. Ives unscented lotion and about eight towels. YUMMY (in my tummy):


Co-Worker: "Dude, Wes... I can't believe you wake up early enough to shave every morning..."

Wes: "Huh?"

Co-Worker: "You're face, dude. It's always clean shaven when you come into work. I would never wake up early to do that."

Wes: "I don't shave every morning before work, dude. I shave every night before I go to the bar."

Thank you, Republican gubernatorial candidate Tim James for Alabama. 

Could this be the first time I agree with Republican's view? Possibly. But I'm not sure. Either way, Tim brings up a good point, and I've pondered this same point for fucking years... how the hell is someone who doesn't speak English supposed to read traffic signs that are (yes, you guessed it) written in English?

This could possibly explain why in Denver:
1) People wait until the last possible effing moment to merge when one lane ends on a two-lane road;
2) People speed through school zones;
3) People ignore "Fines Doubled for Speeding" signs and;
4) People give me funny looks when I roll down my window and shout "you stupid mother-fucking asshole with no turn signal and American car with no muffler with a plastic-wrap back window and one headlight! You just cut me off! The next time you do that I'm going to piss all over your left eyeball, rub your face on a rusty cheese grater and then stick a splintered broomstick up your ass! You SUCK!"

Tim is proposing they offer the driving test in one language (English), rather than the twelve that it currently does, to save money. But people are claiming they will lose billions of dollars in public transportation funding.

I'm not really sure how they're figuring that, but the more important issue is, do we really have that many illegal aliens in one state that it's enough to make everyone worry about losing billions of dollars in transportation revenue? There's a bigger fungus amungus if that really is the case.

The officials at a The Wesson Attendance Center in Jackson, Mississippi have decided to completely nix the face of one of their 12-year students, Ceara Sturgis (left), from their 2010 yearbook. First, they decided to reject her yearbook picture because she was wearing a tuxedo in it, citing a 2004 case that involved dress codes and senior photos. And now, they've decided to nix her likeness completely.

Said Sturgi's mom, Veronica Rodriguez (right): 
They didn't even put her name in it. I was so furious when she told me about it. Ceara started crying and I told her to suck it up. Is that not pathetic for them to do that? Yet again, they have crapped on her and made her feel alienated. It's like she's nobody there, even though she's gone to school there for 12 years. They mentioned none of her accolades, even though she's one of the smartest students there with wonderful grades. They've got kids in the book that have been busted for drugs. There's even a picture of one of the seniors who dropped out of school.  I don't get it. Ceara is a top student. Why would they do this to her?
The answer to that question is simple, Veronica. It's because she's a lesbian. And now, after Constance McMillin, we all have a pretty good idea of Mississippi's view on it's gay youth. 

You may contact the principle for the school here. And when you do, be sure to remind him of how much of a bigot he is.

It turns out George Bush, while sucking as President, really sucked at listening to his wife, as well:
In 2004 the social question that animated the campaign was gay marriage. Before the election season had unfolded, I had talked to George about not making gay marriage a significant issue. We have, I reminded him, a number of close friends who are gay or whose children are gay. But at that moment I could never have imagined what path this issue would take and where it would lead.
- Laura Bush in her soon-to-be-released book, Spoken from the Heart

Do these friends or children still talk to George? I certainly hope not. And if they do, I wanna know the fuck why.

Mark Wahlberg, the reformed bad boy of the music, modeling, and acting industry, told the National Enquirer that he owes the success of his career to his long-time friend and religious mentor, Rev. James Flavin, as he has not made one career choice without his approval:
The 38-year-old reformed bad boy relies on his closest confidante and longtime religious mentor, the Rev. James Flavin, to help him pick and choose his parts. 'Mark is a practicing Catholic, and he never makes a final decision on a starring role until Father Flavin gives his OK,' an insider revealed to The Enquirer. 'Mark says he owes his career to Father Flavin.' ... 'Father Flavin pushes Mark to honor his religious roots,' said the source. 'Even though Mark was offered one of the leads in Brokeback Mountain, he passed because of the gay subject matter, which clashes with Catholic doctrine.
Of course, having pictures of your half-naked body plastered all over the place in Times Square and playing a drug-addicted porn star with a monster cock in Boogie Nights is A-OK. 

Can you feel those vibrations?

(via towleroad)

 
Every time I speak with my mother on the phone, I get a big smile on my face when she says "I love you" before I get the chance to.

Holy shit, readers! You know me, my hoodies, and my shoes. And take a look at this! A hoodie that looks all "what-the-fuck-is-that" in the light, and all "oh...-it's-a-tron-hoodie!" under black light! Click -->  Bookmarks --> Amazon --> Add To --> Wish List. 

Amazon Message: This item has been added to your wishlist entitled "Shit I Really Want, But Will Never Buy Myself, And Will Be Pissed at My Friends for Never Getting Me." Thanks for using Amazon!

Available at Threadless!



These tarot cards remind me of an ink-blot test... maybe that's the point? Either way they're cool as hell! And you know me... I love anything that's black and white.You can, and really should, see more here



That's how shit goes down in good 'ol D-Town, readers. Well, B-Town, actually. But whatever...

God Hates Chads!! 

The Boulder Camera reports:
Wearing tie-dyed shirts and hoisting signs of love and acceptance, hundreds of high school students and community members rallied outside Boulder High on Thursday to counter a small group of protesters from the anti-gay Westboro Baptist Church. 

The crowd of counter-protesters, which grew to about 1,000 people after 3 p.m., gathered on both sides of Arapahoe Avenue. 

Before school let out, the 1,800 students at Boulder High gathered behind the school for a unity celebration. The goal was to ignore the protesters and avoid conflict, but about the time the pizza ran out and the bell rang, students left the building on the south side and walked around front to confront the protesters. 

"We wanted to show how something like this can't tear us apart," said Boulder High freshman Aimee Anderson, 14.
Our wonderful Jennifer made it to the protest, but I was unable to join. Duty calls at work. Plus my manager is in fucking Cabo! Bitch!

During the protest, Kameron Martinez, one of the organizers for the counter-protesters, graciously taunted one of the WBC’s own on Twitter, which you can check out here.

This is for you:



And is from here.

Via Boy Culture comes this amazing (and 100% accurate representation) of what was really behind the funding and operations of Prop8. Even if you don't agree with the idea, you have to agree the poster sends a striking message with only a tiny bit of graphic work.

Opinions?



The St. Olaf Glee Club (comprised of Frank DeCaro, Fredrick Ford and Jim Colucci) offer a special tribute featuring some of White's best moments. That bitch is fabulous.



Did you forget? I hope not... because that bitch mother nature pays a late-night visit to those who do, and takes away the one thing she gave you at puberty... a longer penis. If you forgot, I suggest you run outside right now and pick up a piece of trash or offer a homeless person a shower. Don't let her get a hold of your manhood, readers! That's your lively hood! 

Today, I forced all my team members (even the pregnant one!) to grab a bucket and trash-picker-upper-thingy and join me outside on the property for an hour and a half picking up trash on our entire community. It was fabulous. The complex was sparkling with fresh, clean goodness.

I was also a hero for our maintenance team. But then again, I'm always the hero. 

Anyway, what did you all do for earth day?

Sickening. Fleshlight needs to get their hands on this sucker, stat! Literally.

This video had me cracking up! Thanks Wicked Gay Blog!

No, not that red box you dirty-minded readers! Why would any one of us care about that!? This is far more interesting:

Guilty confession? I've seen this the entire way through. **Sigh**

New Left Media attended the Tax Day Tea Party and did what they do best :: letting the teabaggers hang themselves with their own words. I love watching these:

Pit Shots! What do you readers think... better with short hair or long hair?


(via david dust)

I know the entire world is all super-excited over the recent iPhone incident, and that most Apple whores are probably spending embarrassingly long hours on the Gizmoto website, incessantly jacking off to pictures of the new gadget, but I have to say the early unveiling of the iPhone is bad. Really bad. And the person who sold it to Gizmoto for a ridiculously-small fee ($5,000) deserves to have his business shut down and his face dipped into a vat of calf shit. 

Apple probably would have paid him ten times that amount of money, if he just would have dropped the fucking thing back to them in the mail and said nothing to anyone. But, no... instead he chose to be the asshole who had to ruin the fun for everyone and negate countless hours of hard work on the side of Apple, just so he could get his shitty, little petty-paycheck. Loser.

It's never good when something like this happens. People don't understand that information like this is invaluable, and I would love to see Apple sue this asshat for costing them millions of dollars, because now that every wireless phone company out there knows what's up their sleeve, Apple has lost the competitive edge for their new phone.

And what really sucks, is that this may cause Apple to nix the new release and send  their tech-monkeys right back to the drawing board. Which, if that does happen, is going to really chap my ass, because I need a new iPhone that doesn't have a smashed screen! 

At least Apple doesn't have to worry about that one wireless phone producer. What is their name? Nokia or something?

Maggie Gallagher has announced that she will be stepping down as the president and co-founder of the most aggressive anti-gay marriage group, the National Organization for Marriage (NOM), and will leave operations in the hands of her hate buddy, Brian Brown.

Even though she's stepping down, Gallagher will remain on the Executive Committee of the Board of NOM, and will continue to work for NOM directing the organization’s cultural and strategic projects. Yeah... good luck with that Maggie.

Let's have a party at my place to celebrate this. BYOB. Light hors d'oeuvres will be served along with complimentary lube and condoms. And splinter-lined jockstraps, too (if you're into that sort of thing). 

What's the name of that one song by Natalie Merchant? Jealousy? Because I'm pretty damn sure that's how's I'm feeling right now. How dare this jerk purchase a home this large after years of hard work and giving over $150 million back to our community! He should be living in a cramped, 946 sq ft apartment with no attached garage and noisy upstairs neighbors!



The Denver Post reports:
The house, which the university now rents out for events, will be the couple's primary residence...The couple, who married in Massachusetts a year ago, wasted no time making an offer on the house after hearing it was for sale last month. They signed a letter of intent to purchase the 6.5-acre estate a day after touring the property...Gill and Miller don't plan to host many political or charitable fundraisers at the estate. 'We don't do a lot of that now, which doesn't mean we won't," Gill said. "But we don't want to overburden our neighbors with tons of traffic.' ... Denver City Councilman Charlie Brown, a former real estate agent, said it's unfortunate the university didn't sell the property when the market was better. He believes the school could have gotten as much as $15 million for the estate, which is in his district. 'I'm sure they're disappointed they felt like they had to sell at this time,' Brown said. 'If this goes through, (Gill and Miller) got a great deal.
Tim Gill is behind the Gill Foundation, which was founded back in 1994. Since it's inception, the foundation has invested more than $162M in nonprofits throughout the country.