Don't get me wrong. I'm a proud American. I enjoy things like fourth-of-July BBQ's, big lifted trucks, country boys, freedom, and, of course, our overall culture.

H O W E V E R . . .

I do also enjoy a bit of... oh... I don't know. Reservation? I mean... Alyssa Campanella's outfit for the Miss Universe Contest is a bit SuperDuperExtraUltraMegaOverTheTop.

I know this was just her costume, but... c'mon! It looks like she's getting ready to go hand gliding over the Grand Canyon in this outfit!